Small Insecure Child or Competent Adult?

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When you’re being talked down to, or scolded, or reprimanded for something, how do you feel?

When the wolves are at the door, and the kids need shoes, what’s the message you’re telling yourself about yourself?

When you think you should do better, or you should be better, what’s the feeling inside?

Do you greet life’s challenges with the meekness of a child?

Do you hope for an adult to save the day?

Or conversely, do you meet challenges head on with the courage of a Super Hero?

Do you look squarely at the moment and see several opportunities and options?

It’s easy to slink into the smallness of a child, but it will never be the solution to adult issues. And as an adult, do you honestly trust others to do what’s in your best interest?

Cowering like a damaged child will never be productive. Be your own super hero.  It’s that feeling of empowerment that expands and ripples universally. It’s the whole/gestalt of you.

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Escaping the Chrysalis is the empowerment bible for living.  When you are ready to embrace your wingspan, order here:

Escaping the Chrysalis (Print Version)

  Escaping the Chrysalis (Kindle Version)

Evolution of the Generations

As a kid, the world was filled with opportunities, and more importantly, with possibilities. There were seemingly endless classrooms where dream seeds germinated and day dreams drew my attention outside of that classroom. The expansive land of make-believe and mind-wandering was only occasionally chastised as being wasteful; I was of the lucky few who didn’t get her knuckles rapped by rulers when I dreamed. I was good at masking the dreams behind a face that shone brightly as interested. But the real interest was often not for things inside that school. Often that interest was for what lies beyond the small confines of brick and mortar.

And then, as a parent, I held my breath that my offspring not be stifled within those same walls of education. I hoped there would never come a teacher who ridiculed for wandering thoughts. I hoped also, that no “well-meaning” art teacher scold for such abuses as mixing blue with yellow or using the imagination. Instead, I hoped that these newly expanding children be encouraged to think, and to dream, and most especially, I held my breath that these children learn to trust themselves with full authority to paint the most authentic colorful life they could possibly create.

And finally, when these children grew to become parents with concerns of their own as to what their children would “learn” along the path, I hoped that they too would encourage imagination, and growth, and possibilities.

And in my final phases, I see now that the true education of life is not meant to be towards “good grades” and “citizenship” as much as it is meant to foster self-esteem and confidence.

I make this claim in response to a friend’s son’s recent suicide.  The child was a senior in high school with an exemplary record. He was a success at every challenge. And now he is dead; hanged by his own choice.

I want to reach out to his mother, to tell her the pain will subside. And I want to assure her that the time one grieves for a child is not indicative of how much that child was loved.  I want to take the ache, and hold her until she begins to lose the protective numbness, and to continue to hold her up when the full tidal wave of death/loss sucks her under as that numbness leaves and reality settles.

I want to tell her to forget every Sunday school lesson she’s been indoctrinated with, to cast aside the dogma about Hell for choices, and Heaven for living in lack. I want her to start to question the status quo, to begin afresh with an open easel, and to fill her heart with that which resonates as a new chosen truth. Because really, isn’t HELL the place that her son escaped with the rope?

And then, when she is ready, I want to hand her a copy of Blessings in the Mire: A True Story of Miracles & Recollections.  Because I have heard that it has healing powers, I think everyone who has suffered a loss would benefit from reading it. But I want to start with mothers especially, because it was written by this mother.

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Blessings in the Mire

 

Is It Real? Or Is It A Projection?

Do you realize that the majority of any conversation we have with others is actually projections from them to us and vice versa?

Projecting our biases, moods of the day, and internalized life-lessons is the norm. As example: You wake on a sweetly scented Spring morning, the scent of your favorite morning beverage wafting through the room, and your favorite hot lover at your side. You are at peace, and all is well with the world. On this day, your shared conversations will likely resonate with the sweetness of your mood.

On the other side of the bed: You over-slept! Tangles of scratchy sheets, soggy from the nervous sweat that comes as a result of your vivid nightmares just moments before you jolted awake, cause you to fall from the bed to the hard cold floor. But it isn’t cold. It’s warm. And it’s mushy. The dog is lying there beside his “gift” to you; the gift of which you are now smeared with. Cussing and trying to stand, your left foot hits smack into the middle of the mess, and your slide back down to the floor, this time with dog excrement on your knees and palms. Disgusted, you near-miss the intuitive dog with your kick as he scurries out of your way. Your shower is cold and quick. And then, the car won’t start. You had no coffee. And you’ve just missed the next bus for forty-five minutes. You are pissed. So it’s a bit of a silver lining that you are forced to walk the twenty-seven blocks to the office, effectively giving you time to simmer down. But you don’t simmer for long. Because about twenty minutes after your late arrival at work, you discover that you’ve left your important papers on the nightstand at home.  Those pages contain the big deal that was meant to impress the supervisor and share holders. Those pages were meant to be with you at the meeting that started fifteen minutes ago. Oops. Well, there goes that raise….

That morning had started out poorly, and the day progressively went downhill from there. By the time you arrive back home that night, having walked the twenty-seven return blocks to home, you are a sweaty, angry mess. And every conversation you’ve had that day has felt the projections spewing from you. And as you open the front door, relieved that the day is over, you suddenly realize that you still have the doggy poo to clean up.

This tale is a fictional account, of course. You would never allow your internalized biases, your moods, or your daily events filter your communications…. And you’re beginning to see just how true this is of others.

Regardless of the level of agreement, we all do it. We each have the filters that shade our perceptions and color our conversations. The key then, is to recognize that we do it, whether it is for good, bad, ugly, or indifferent. Awareness, most especially, self-awareness of that fact is empowering.

The next time you are in any conversation, notice what’s really being said.  You might be surprised at the true source of the verbiage.

~As always, with love, light, and gratitude (as projected thru filters of love).

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Click to purchase.

News Flash…

NEWS FLASH!

The publisher, Nekawa Crone Publishing Company has just announced The Power of Three campaign.

This is a FABULOUS offer! It is also very time limited! Clicking the hyperlink will take you out of this site and into the special offer.

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It’s No Smoking…

Stop Smoking

It’s World No Tobacco Day, Smoke Free Day, Kick Butts, The Great American Smoke Out….

Any which way you want to phrase it, if you want to stop smoking, you can.

It’s a hard thing to do. And it’s not impossible. It takes committment. And that ‘C’ word is a hell of a lot easier to deal with than the other “C’ word that comes as a result of inhaling carcinogens. Cancer is harder to walk away from than tobacco is. And for as expensive a habit of tobacco addiction is, it’s a lot cheaper than the costs of treating cancer.

I’ve got a confession to make. There was a time when I participated in this stinky, costly, deadly habit. And I didn’t just “dabble.” No siree…I was a full-blown addict.

And then, I wasn’t.

When I figured out that I was the captain of my craft, when I had a little “come to Jesus” talk with my lower self, and convinced me that I was better, stronger, and certainly (hands down) more tenacious, I knew I could kick the stinky habit.

I knew that I would go thru a couple of weeks of hell, and so I planned ahead to ensure I had plenty of alternatives. I stocked up on fresh veggies and fruits and nuts and other finger-busying foods. Then I began brushing my teeth about a hundred times a day, because nobody smokes after brushing their teeth.

I cut back on caffeine and alcohol and changed my routine. I no longer planned that smoke after meals. Instead, I brushed my teeth and went for a walk.

Some people gain weight when they quit, mainly because they substitute food and don’t change-up the exercise. I actually toned up from walking, and began to actually taste the foods that previously tasted like smoke.

It’s been decades now, and I can safely say another cigarette will NEVER cross my lips.  Of course, I had made that vow once before, and then my son died…and well, like an old friend to lean on, I accepted a cigarette. It’s just an excuse. These days I have better friends to depend on, regardless of what the excuse could be.

These days, I choose life.

If you smoke, or know someone who does, tell them about this hypnosis program. You’ll both breathe easier.

Stop Smoking

Click the picture and see what it’s all about!

~As always, with love and light.

Grow Your Own…

To all you spirit-led entrepreneurs looking at growing
your client list, you’ll want to pay attention:
Stephanie Mulac, Carolyn Hansen, and Joe Rubino
just unleashed the flood gate on their Healthy,
Wealthy and Wise Gifts 3 list-building launch and I’m
here to tell you that this is one event NOT TO MISS!

After all, last year this FREE list building
event averaged hundreds of new subscribers for
their JV Partners…

Yes – 100s!

And for their savvy JV partners who took advantage
of the low cost options for increasing their
visibility – THEY got 1000s of new subscribers…

Yes – 1000s!!!

You can join FREE Here:


http://healthywealthywisegifts3.com/go/68/jv

The site opens to members on June 6th at 10AM EST,
so don’t delay!

This year though, the news is bigger and better
than ever and I am honored to be among the first
to share the huge and exciting changes with you!

I’ve just found out that this annual health and
wellness list building launch which attracted a
record 27,000 members last year, has been totally
restructured for even higher conversions, astronomical
leaderboard solo mailings (350K!), and get this…

Over $10,000 in Sales Contests, Prizes and Incentives!

… Including an exclusive opportunity to be
invited to their 2nd Annual LIVE Affiliate
Appreciation Networking event in Las Vegas in 2014!

Never before in the history of such an event
has it been possible to win a MacBook Air,
an iPad, a Kindle Fire HD, Bose Headphones, a
Sony Bloggie and more…!

And the even more exciting news about their
new sales prize structure is YOU are in control
of what you win!

That’s right – reach the designated sales
volume and the prize is yours! And that’s in
addition to their already unprecedented Grand
Prize solo mailings which are back again this
year – but raised to an amazing 350,000!

This is truly the launch you want to set in stone
immediately right here:


http://healthywealthywisegifts3.com/go/68/jv

I know for one that I am determined to land an
exclusive invite so I can be at their next Affiliate
Appreciation event in Las Vegas in 2014 – that
level of networking with Self Help experts of the
caliber this launch is attracting is PRICELESS!

This is one list-building launch you are not going
to want to miss!

Join me here and good luck winning those awesome
prizes and stacking up commissions:


http://healthywealthywisegifts3.com/go/68/jv

Here’s To Our Success!
Jan

P.S. This event is free to join, but with over 550+
gifts last year, I highly recommend you give serious
thought to upgrading your account for 4x the list-building
visibility and the opportunity to add multiple gifts -
all the exciting details are right here:


http://healthywealthywisegifts3.com/go/68/jv
.

It STARTS JUNE 1st!! FREE Hay House World Summit! (Can You Believe IT’S FREE?!) SIGN UP NOW!!

Hay House World Summit

Are you planning on attending the FREE Hay House World Summit?
I honestly cannot think of anything I would rather be doing!
Woo hoo!

Whether you’re embracing your health, deepening your spirituality, nurturing
your relationships, exploring the world of possibility, or a combination of all
of the above, many have chosen Hay House to be their favorite resource and
hub of wisdom over the years. To celebrate this tradition of learning and
sharing, Hay House has created a new, free, online event just for you: the Hay
House World Summit.

Listen in during the week of June 1st through the 10th to more than 100 authors
and experts as they share their stories, powerful exercises and advice on how to live your best life.

Popular self-help authors and visionary teachers from an array of fields will sit down
for enlightening conversations hosted by industry professionals and fellow
authors. Best-selling author Wayne Dyer will share his insight and expertise on
manifestation and divine intelligence. Interviews with health advocates
including Kris Carr, Julie Daniluk and Donna Gates will illuminate the many
paths to healing your body and enjoying your health. Fresh off the success of
his new book The Tapping Solution, Nick Ortner will share a simple
solution for stress-free living. Relax and enjoy guided meditation exercises
from Denise Linn and Sonia Choquette among many others. John Holland will
discuss how to tap in to your soul’s innate desires and abilities in his
interview; while as an interviewer, he will engage with other intuitive speakers
about divine guidance and mediumship. Best of all, Hay House is thrilled to
invite you to listen to Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House, discuss the
beginnings of her company and the affirmations and positive thoughts that help
her live a balanced and joyful life. To see the full schedule of authors, go to:


http://bit.ly/11w8Jhs

When you register for the Hay House World Summit, you will receive six bonus videos
to kick off your experience. Watch as Hay House President and CEO Reid Tracy
sits down with Louise Hay, Suze Orman, Doreen Virtue, Esther Hicks, Cheryl
Richardson, and Wayne Dyer in never-before-seen, entertaining and personal
conversations. Join in the fun at the Hay House World Summit to get more from
these and other authors and gain even greater insight into living a happy,
healthy life. Register for free today at:

http://www.hayhouseworldsummit.com?a_aid=514a877e253a8&a_bid=0c1a4a6b

“See” YOU THERE!!

~As always, with love and light and gratitude.

SIGN UP NOW! IT STARTS TOMORROW!

Your Words Have Power

Thoughts

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

(As quoted in Chapter Six of Escaping the Chrysalis, The Power of Words.)

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http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore/Escaping-the-Chrysalis/

If You’re Not MINDFULLY Planning Your Life…

Are You Planning to FAIL?

Thought Prompt:

Currently, are you where you expected you would be, when five years ago you looked into the future? If you remain on the same track, where do you expect to be five years from now? If you’re not living your life according to a plan, whose plan are you living? Write your thoughts in your journal.

FREE DOWNLOADS for Life Planning + Bonuses!

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Click the cover to purchase!

Or go to:
http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore/Escaping-the-Chrysalis/

~As alway, with love and light and gratitude.

The Solution to Waning Self-Esteem…

 

• Do you ever feel “not good enough”?
• Are others seemingly leaving you in their dust?
• Do you know that you have something to offer?
• Do you doubt you can achieve your dreams?
• Are your relationships only “better than nothing”?
• Do you feel lethargic, even helpless at times?
• Are you angry?
• Are you depressed?
• Are you losing sleep over your life circumstances?
• Are you being less than you can be?
• Do you feel like a victim some times?
• Are you a bully?
• Can you really look yourself in the eye?
• Do you struggle to get your needs met?
• Does communication threaten you?
• Could you be better tomorrow than today?
• Does your past dictate your present and your future?
• Are you holding onto a lot of old baggage?
• Do you self-medicate?
• Have you noticed a global consciousness shift?
• Are you interested in being a participant in that shift?
• Have you longed for something ‘more’?
• Are you brave enough to experience your power?
• Are you courageous enough to take the journey?
• Are you hungry enough to transform your life?

Do you want the solution to your challenges? If you’re ready to release the garbage that holds you back,
the solution is here:

Escaping the Chrysalis Cover tif

Click the book cover to purchase Escaping the Chrysalis: Gestalt Tools for Transformation Into Divine Wholeness

Fear & Love

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Every action and thought stems from either fear or love.

Let that statement really soak in for a few moments: Every action and thought stems from either fear or love.

What is your initial reaction? Do you immediately doubt that message? Or do you take a moment to consider the implications? Are you curious?

Regardless, how that statement makes you feel is telling. So now take a moment to observe what your reaction is telling you.

Fear is the choice that stops you.

Love is the trust-based choice that propels you.

Here’s an example: Sally really enjoys her job as a counselor to the impoverished, but she hasn’t had a raise in over three years. She rationalizes this because all over the world there are people worse off, there are furloughs and layoffs and wage freezes.

“Who am I to want more,” she chastises herself, “when all these clients have so little and I have so much?”

Sally’s reasoning discounts her value, and confuses the waters by comparison to others.  She has effectively helped several hundred women reclaim their personal power and move off of welfare rolls and into the role of tax-payer. Not only has her continuous involvement and dedication to the social issues helped these women, and saved taxpayer dollars, as parents, these women become better role models for their offspring and the generational welfare cycle is broken. Additionally, these women are now paying taxes into the system that once provided the hand up.

Sally weighed the fear she felt about asking for a raise against the good she had accomplished. Ultimately, she mustered the courage to approach the supervisor, and was told that she would not be getting a raise anytime soon, but that they really appreciated how hard she worked and how she was so often available during the middle of the night when clients had emergencies.

Sally was mad. Still, she showed up for work each day. Increasingly, however, she felt the weight of the anger. She was afraid to make a change. She feared that if she left, the clients would fall through the proverbial cracks in a system that paid little attention to the needs of others beyond ensuring they moved towards self-sufficiency.

Because there is limited space available here to continue to saga, here’s what happened after several months of fearing the change: As we know, the mind and body are connected so it is no surprise that Sally began to have heart palpitations.  She was also suffering from insomnia, and even her favorite clients noticed her shortened fuse and scattered thought processes. Once a testament to balance and serenity, Sally was now a vision of chaos.

Seeking medical attention, Sally was prescribed blood thinners that would kill rats, and blood pressure medication that would slow her down. She was told to “take it easy.”

At that moment of reason, Sally tore up the prescriptions for medication, wrote out her resignation, and sent a mass mailing to all of her clients. Using her fear for fuel, Sally then rented a small room in the community center and invited the clients to come to the Self-Sufficiency Groups that she would facilitate there. She applied for, and was awarded grants for her work, and she went on to form alliances with other like-minded folks and eventually began training trainers and conducting groups around the country.

Had Sally allowed the fear to swallow her dreams, there would be approximately 20,000 women who would have been deprived of the incredibly empowering groups which Sally facilitated. And when you begin to think of the children who were also affected by Sally’s courage, the numbers of positive ripples are impossible to count.

Sally’s actions came from a place of love: First, of self-love. We all know how important it is to take care of our individual needs first, and then share our love of others. Sure she felt fear. And she faced that fear, even transforming it into the catalyst for progressive change. Ultimately, Sally’s self-trust, a belief in her own innate wisdom to move forward into the fearful unknown, to follow her passionate calling, gave her more rewards than ever would have come in a restricted setting. Second, Sally’s genuine caring for the women she served was not something that she would allow to die when she made the courageous decision to leave the job. Rather than walking away defeated, she owned her choice to continue her work in a much more expansive manner.

Now contemplate again, your actions. Knowing that each comes from a place of either fear or love, which will you choose?

“I choose love.” Practice saying this. Write it as an affirmation on your bathroom mirror. Repeat it every time you feel the fear.  “I choose love.”

Trust yourself to do what is in your best interest. Be brave and celebrate even your smallest achievements, as they lead the way to your greatest success. Your ripples too, are endless.

~As always, with love, light, and gratitude.


http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore/Escaping-the-Chrysalis/

Did You Get It?

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Did you get the FREE download?
Excerpt ~The Flying Game

The book arrives TODAY! Get your copy now!


http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore/the-flying-game

Only the first 50 copies will be autographed, and then, only upon request!

Seeking External Validation Is Akin to…

…trying to teach a pig to sing.

Pig

“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”

Looking outside of our self for approval is a lot like teaching pigs to sing. In other words, it’s a waste of

time and quite frankly, why would we assume someone else would have our best answers?

We each have a grand BS detector. All we need to do is go to that quiet still place, and listen.

Gestalt means whole, and so are you.

Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation

Once you’ve read it, you’ll never have to try to teach another pig to sing.

You’ll also never have to have a dream or nightmare that you don’t understand.

You’ll have at your fingertips the tools to release any inner blocks to success.

You will learn to “own” your power and reach new heights.

Gestalt means whole. You are whole and perfect in your humanness. You just need to re-member.

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Get it NOW!
http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore/Escaping-the-Chrysalis

This just may be the single most liberating thing you ever do for yourself! Don’t waste another day!

Today is the day to make the conscious choice to transform your life.  Now. It’s right, now.

 

Tribute to Your Deceased Loved ~ Ones: Volume #1

 Thanatology Anthology:  Candle%20couple

Here is something I am really going to get behind! Nekawa Crone Publishing Company is soon going to announce a submissions process for an up-coming book dedicated to those who have died.

In a crowded nutshell, here’s how it will work:

Interested parties submit either a poem, a short story, a photograph, or any mixed-media artwork, or photograph of some created art that was either created as a tribute to a deceased loved-one, or the same, as created by the deceased.

Was your now deceased loved-one a writer? a painter? a photographer? a skilled illustrator? a poet? a sculptor?

Have you or someone you know created a poem, written a story, or painted or drawn something in honor of your deceased loved-one?

This collection of works will be a POSITIVE CELEBRATION OF LIFE. All entries must show the deceased in a favorable light, regardless of means of death.

All the tributes will be entered into a contest of sorts, with the editors and judges having final say on which tributes are input. When deemed necessary, editors may request slight revisions in spelling, grammar, etc., but as much as possible will publish the words and works ”as is” to encourage authenticity.

If there are so many entries as to warrant second, third, or more volumes, the publisher has agreed to create a series of books, each a collection of lovely memories.

The books will be a collection of entries and will be categorized by areas such as Military, Suicide, Accidental, Natural, etc. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR NEGATIVE JUDGEMENTS AS TO CAUSE OF DEATH.

More than one tribute submission per living person will be accepted, but only one submission per each deceased. In other words, if you’ve lost more than one person, you may enter one entry for each of those passed on. PLEASE, only submit one tribute in any format per deceased.

Entries fees will be kept LOW to encourage participation.@ $10.00 per entry.

The result will be a ‘coffee-table’ quality book of which to be proud.

If you have any questions, or comments, or interest, fill in the form below and you’ll be alerted when further details are unveiled.

This is a preliminary notice of the soon to be announced call for entries. More posts will be made when we receive them.

Please DO share this on your blogs, tweets, FB walls, and email.

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~As always, in all ways, in gratitude and love.

GET ONE FREE! Buy 5 get 6 ~The Flying Game

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Here’s how it works: YOU round up your five closest friends and get them to fork over a $20. Then YOU take those 5 twenties, order 5 books for your friends, and for your service, YOU get the 6th one FREE!

http://www.nekawacrone.com/bookstore/the-flying-game/

Pretty cool deal, ehh?
And it’s a delightful book!
What are you waiting for? Grab those twenties and start a book club!
PS ~Shipping is reduced too!

But hurry, this is definitely a limited time offer!

FREE EXCERPT:
http://jandeelstra.com/2013/05/19/free/

April is fill-in-the-blank Awareness Month

Earth DayI read this week, that 80% of all childhood deaths caused by abuse are to children under the age of 4. This really pisses me off, because until kids start to talk and think and go to school, they really are at the mercy of the suppossed care-giver. Since 1983, by presidential proclamation, April is child abuse prevention month. I can get behind this cause, because children need us to look out for them. April is also:

  • Autism Awareness Month
  • National Poetry Month
  • Alcohol Awareness Month
  • Boost Your Hometown Month 
  • Cancer Control Month
  • Mathematics Education Month
  • Month of the Young Child
  • Foot Health Awareness Month
  • Holy Humor Month
  • Keep America Beautiful Month
  • Knuckles Down Month
  • Listening Awareness Month
  • National Child Abuse Prevention Month
  • National Anxiety Month
  • Pets are Wonderful Month
  • Sexual Assault Awareness Month
  • Stress Awareness Month
  • National Garden Month
  • National Humor Month
  • National Lawn and Garden Month
  • Parkinson’s Awareness Month
  • National Occupational Therapy
  • National Sexually Transmitted Disease Education & Awareness Month
  • National TMJ Awareness Month
  • National Woodworking Month
  • Occupational Therapy Month
  • National Secretary (Office Assistant) Day – April 25
  • National Sportsmanship Day – April 24
  • Earth Day – April 22
  • Equal Pay Day 
  • International Child’s Book Day - April 2
  • Pan American Day – April 14
  • World Health Day – April 7

Undoubtedly I left off a few of the reasons to be aware this month. And quite frankly, I am weighing the scales on all of these. Afterall, we cannot possibly celebrate every single one of these…can we?

As an advocate of human rights, I’m leaning to the childhood abuse prevention and sexual assault awareness causes. I mean, do we really need a “Month of the Young Child” or “Knuckles Down Month”? The latter makes me think of knuckles scraped from dragging on the ground. I won’t be promoting that cause much, at least not from this venue. And I do appreciate a good Earth Day celebration, because like the children, the Earth needs us to look after her best interests. Additionally, I appreciate humor, so I’m all for the National Humor Month, but I think it should be something that happens daily, 354 days per year, because humor is healing, and we all benefit from a big dose of laughter. Couldn’t the “Holy Humor Month” be the one we build awareness of, while the “National Humor Month” can be times for sharing all those good jokes? Count me in.

We could also include “Keep America Beautiful” with “Earth Day” if we just changed “America” to “Earth.”

And as far as “Equal Pay Day” goes, huh?

Anyway, I’m off to look at the health of my foot, and celebrate the anxiety and stress month of April.

Happy Earth Day!

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Making a Positive Difference: Women of Distinction Award

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This year, Eva Longoria will receive the prestigious Women of Distinction Award presented by the YWCA. Why am I posting this here? For over a decade I was employed with The Department of Human Services, in the capacity of assisting diverse clientele in matters of becoming self-sufficient. That’s a mouthful of words that means I offer techniques for improvement. The same gestalt techniques and case studies are at the core of both, The Flying Game, and Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation.  In either case, the books offer self-esteem bolstering secrets that were previously used only by the professional. And in both cases. I wrote the books to get the tools into the hands of the masses. Who among us would not benefit from learning to let go of the past blocks that stop us from reaching our desires? Is there anyone not interested in learning to interpret the messages from their dreams? Are we all so adept at communication that we could not use a little clarity in how to get our needs met?

Whether your preference is for fiction or nonfiction, you’re covered!

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The YWCA is the organization that comes to mind whenever I think of women’s shelters, battered women, and the gamut of social issues that gnaw at our social fabric. Much of my employment has been spent working hand in hand with them as together we made progress at what seemed a snail’s pace. Regardless, as a race, humans are making forward movement towards wholeness. Every iota of awareness is a positive step to the future where the human condition is one based on acceptance and equality and peace. And it is for this reason that my heart is warmed as I acknowledge that Eva Longoria is using her celebrity to better the world, and it is lovely that the YWCA is recognizing Ms. Longoria for her positive impact. Kudos to you Eva. Congratulations, we’re proud of you!

“Gestalt means Whole. And so are YOU.” And if you’re a part of a book club, you can get 6 books for the price of 5! But only for a limited time.


http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore

~As always, with love & light & gratitude.

butterfly-on-a-flower Petr Kratochvil

The Butterfly MUST Struggle In Order To Fly

 

butterfly-on-a-flower Petr Kratochvil

Butterfly On A Flower by Petr Kratochvil


http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=36369&picture=butterfly-on-a-flower

The following is an excerpt from Escaping the Chrysalis:

The ‘Butterfly Effect

(It’s NOT What You’re Thinking!)

Noticing a butterfly struggling to break free of the cocoon, a gentleman (thinking of himself as helpful) snipped at the cocoon with a tiny pair of scissors. Although the butterfly was indeed freed, its tiny wings were shriveled, and its body was swollen, making it improbable that the butterfly would ever take flight. As this condensed version turns out, the insect spent the remainder of its days crawling, struggling, never having gained the strength necessary to take flight.

Nature’s plan was, as the butterfly squeezed through the tight cocoon opening, the fluids would be forced from the torso into the wings. Once freed, the butterfly could have easily flown. However well-intentioned he may have been, Nature knew better than did the kindly, “helpful” gentleman.

As is true with much in life this parable is two sided:

  1. Nature gives us perfect lessons, but this doesn’t mean you must continuously be squeezed through the hole. Nature never intended you would create a habit from dysfunction, or that you’d develop an addiction to the toxic stress hormones that are a core product of drama.
  2. Nature gave us struggles to create strong characteristics, because to never have any struggles would be crippling.

Escaping the Chrysalis is the book that shows you how to find the strengths in all of your events, despite how nefarious they may be. If you’re interested, buy the book:

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Click the cover to be taken to the publisher’s website.

Thank you, often.

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What Percentage of Communication is Based in Projections?

faces or vasesTry this: look around the room. Now choose one object, any object. Not a person, but an object. Okay, got it? Good. Now here’s the EASY next step: Describe the object as if you ARE the object and listen closely to your words. Begin, for example, by saying, “Now I am,” and describe your physical characteristics and your feelings about being this object.

EXAMPLE:

“Now I am a chair, and I am wooden. I have wheels so I can move freely. I am a little squeaky. I am also a little aged. I have a purpose. I am valuable to someone. I enjoy my job, except that I really don’t people’s butts on me.”

Now I decide which parts of this description are parts of me. I own the ability to move about freely, and that I can be a little squeaky if I feel the least bit stressed. I also accept that I am “a little aged.” I own the statements that “I have a purpose,” and that “I am valuable to someone.” Most of the time, I do enjoy my calling/job, and decidedly, I do not like butts in my face or squashing me in any manner.

Now that you have this little insider information, listen closely at both your words and the words of others as you communicate. Empowerment is in this awareness. And awareness is empowerment.  WIN/WIN.

For more information on the empowerment principles of Gestalt, go here:
http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore

Escaping the Chrysalis Cover tifcover flying

~As always, with love and light and gratitude.

All is Vanity

Self Image and Self Esteem: Who Do YOU See?

Have you seen this latest Dove advertisement where several persons described how they look to a sketch artist. Then, others described those same persons. In every case, the person describing themself was much harsher, saw things in a much less attractive way. In gestalt groups, I have repeatedly witnessed this phenomenon of poor self-image. Three persons sit side by side in front of a full length mirror turned sideways. All three participants can see their own reflection as well as the reflections of the other two participants. Each participant is asked to look in the mirror, and first, describe her individual reflection. It begins something like this: “Now I see me in the mirror and I see_____.” The patron is encouraged to listen closely to the words they are stating. The dialog generally goes something like this: “Now I see me in the mirror and I see how fat I am. I see that zit on my forehead. My forehead is huge. God. And those jowls…. I really need to get my teeth whitened. And that ugly chin. It protrudes. My mother always said I had the chin of Leno. And my ears and nose are growing bigger by the second.” The messages are consistently non-supportive. All three participants repeat the process, each looking at his ir her reflection and describing what he or she sees. Next, each individual is instructed to look at the other two participants, and one at a time, describe the others. In EVERY case, the participants are MUCH harder on themselves than they are in describing the other two participants. And as a rule, the most culturally aesthetic persons are the harshest. It’s as if all of the individual’s value is wrapped up solely in physical appearance, and that appearance is never good enough. These folks are the harshest judges of all, but only when judging their own reflections. They can be quite kind when judging the appearances of others. It’s the same in the Dove commercial.

Why does this matter?

Your every success or supposed “failure” in life, your every self-descriptive word uttered in either praise or self-deprecation, either feeds or diminishes your whole/gestalt self. There is no authentic separation between mind and body. There is only that warped perspective which is a self-imposed limitation. Either way, positive or negative, that self-image perspective is contagious and gets onto everything. It has an effect on your relationships, your social status, and even on your financial status. It’s like an invisible scent that permeates all of life.  So here’s the question: Do you want to emit a soulful, sensual, confident, sexy, intelligent, life-loving, etc., essence, or do you want to wallow in the stench of lack, misery, self-consciousness, etc.? How do you want others to see you? How would you like to view your self?

All is Vanity

Start by going to the mirror and making eye contact with you. This seems to be the most difficult first step. And then, look at yourself as a loving child would see you. What’s great about you? Look beyond the physical and into the core of who you really are. There you are! See? This is where your personal power resides. Give him/her more than a bone once in a while. Give her/him your full attention. Gestalt means whole, and so are you. You deserve to feel whole and complete. You ARE WHOLE/GESTALT/Perfect in your humanness.

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~With immense love and light.

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Click the cover to buy the book.

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Violence in America: Is It Something To Do With Spring?

Other than the obvious loss of life and terrorism, what do the following have in common?

  • Boston Marathon
  • Virginia Tech
  • Oklahoma City
  • Waco
  • Columbine

April.

  • April 15, 2013:  Boston Marathon
  • April 16, 2007:  Virginia Tech
  • April 19, 1995:  Oklahoma City
  • April 19, 1993:  Waco
  • April 20, 1999:  Columbine

What else do these share?

LOVE.

The resilience and immediate rising of heroes.

As tears run down my face, especially for those who have lost loved-ones, a pride rises to the top. It’s easy to hate. But if we send out hate and anger, we only add to the pain. I choose love. And today, it will take a lot of reminding that what I focus on expands: I choose love. We must choose love. Otherwise, the bastards win.

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~Today, as much as ever, with love and light.

picture-of-love-in-red Sabine Sauermaul

Happy Birthday Mrs. ‘T’

picture-of-love-in-red Sabine Sauermaul

Picture Of Love In Red by Sabine Sauermaul

Had she lived longer than her 93 years, today would have been my grandma ‘T’s 97th birthday. I still miss her spunk and her individuality. And I’ll share a little secret with you: Shhh…. Grandma T had a tattoo. Yep. The old bird had a great big “M” on her bicep. Apparently, Grandma T was into ‘ink’ before it was named a “tramp Stamp” and was the subject of Sandra Bullock’s divorce. lol.

Grandma LOVED RED. “Look at that purdy truck,” she’d note as she pointed at the candy apple Dodge Ram. “Oh, now there’s a sight! Look at that red dress on that dame,” she’d say. Her love of red in any shade was her trademark dress. Flashing her gaudy plastic jewelry, but hoarding her mother’s wedding set ~a divine wedding set of diamonds and (you guessed it) rubies, she was consistently the showy-muse.

Red will forever remind me of Grandma T.  And although I didn’t receive her hand-me-down wedding set (I still hope it will miraculously find its way to me) in the heirloom divvying process, I still do wear red on April 16th each year.  And I look for the parts of me that are not rings and heirlooms.  I find the strong independent streak, and the fiery tongue. I own the playfulness and the sense of humor that really appreciates the power of laughter. I recall your stable sane sense when times were tough, and how, in spite of religious differences, you loved me. I could learn something from you in that area. I own your love of color, although my primary choice is not the same. I own all that you are in me. And I thank you.

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Happy Birthday Mrs. T. I love you.  heart-66470_640

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You Are Precious. Treat Yourself With Tender Care

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The above photo, Child’s Foot In The Palm by George Hodan, found at Public Domain Pictures

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http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=28912&picture=childs-foot-in-the-palms
)

The loving care, which this image so sweetly depicts, reminds us to care for ourselves with the same tenderness. As I contemplate my clients over time, what comes clearly into focus is the need for self-care. It all begins with awareness of ‘what is.’ What is the current feeling that sits in your gut about your self-image? Are you happy with who you are and what you have accomplished? Regardless of who you are and what you feel, you have a list of accomplishments to be proud of. You are valuable. You deserve to be treated with care and nurturing. And now that you are not an infant at the mercy of your care-givers, you can take care of yourself with the care that you desire and deserve. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel whole/gestalt. You ARE whole. You are perfect in your humanness.

http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore
Escaping the Chrysalis Cover tif

~With love and light.

Living Life in Balance

scales_of_justiceThere is something to be said for “homeostasis.” It’s a fancy word for balance, but the act of balancing seems even more rare than does the use of the word homeostasis. The natural state of preference for the human entity is balance. Yet as I look around, I see a lot of imbalances.  Few folks take personal time to balance out the stress of life, at least not without feeling some sense of guilt or alarming push to get busy with something else. Daydreaming is a powerful life-tool, and it’s my observation that daydreaming is often seen as a waste of precious time. That’s one of those old worn out messages internalized in childhood. And that old message must be released.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”  Albert Einstein

Imagination ~Einstein

“Imagine.”  John Lennon

Imagine

WHY? Here’s why: Allowing the mind to simply be, allows for the subterfuge to settle and the cream of the thoughts to surface. The practice also allows for the calming of the blood pressure against the veins, and the slowing of the pumps from that mighty important heart muscle. Equally important, daydreaming and meditation equalizes the energies between the mind and body.

This balance feeds the whole/gestalt human entity. And this is a very powerful place to be in, and to come from. Without self-chastisement, do you allow yourself time to imagine, to daydream, to simply be with your thoughts?

Why it is beneficial to be in homeostasis:

Have you ever had a confrontation with someone, and afterward you were left with thoughts of “I should have said…” or left with emotions that you stuffed down, only to feel them fester into something that steals your sleep and your attention? In this example, you were likely not coming from a centered place of balance, of homeostasis. Too bad, cuz the other guy in this equation is probably sleeping just fine.

Here’s a thing: you may desire to release the old messages that keep you stuck. You may also wish to learn to communicate your needs, desires, and feelings more accurately, and more assertively. This is an easily attainable characteristic, and one which is spelled out in Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation. And as you learn to communicate from a centered place of balance, there is a really cool byproduct of your learning. That is, your self-esteem will rise to fit the authentic YOU. And that’s a very good thing that will trickle into all aspects of your whole life. WIN/WIN.

Buy the book. You’ll be REALLY glad to have all those valuable tools!


http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore

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~With love and light and gratitude.

yin yang

For Book Clubs and Readers: I LOVE FREE Stuff, HOW ‘BOUT YOU?

I LOVE FREE STUFF! HOW ‘BOUT YOU?

FREE Button

SPECIAL DELIVERY: Until Midnight tonight any book clubs ordering 5 books get a 6th one FREE from Nekawa Crone Publishing Company (
http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore)
And who doesn’t like FREE stuff? This link is only good for 24 hours, so if you’ve ever had any issues with self-esteem, with goal setting, with letting go of the past in order to move into your full presence, you’ll want to check out these self-help experts. Oh, and did I mention that after the first shipping fee of $2.50 the others are shipped at NO EXTRA SHIPPING COSTS??

Here’s how it works: Go to
http://www.NekawaCrone.com/bookstore
 and order 5 books and pay one shipping charge. You will then receive a 6th book FREE. That’s it. Simple! The only caveat is that the 5 books must be of the same title. In other words, you can buy 5 copies of Escaping the Chrysalis and you’ll receive 6 copies and pay for shipping only for 1. And/or, you can buy 5 copies of The Flying Game and receive a 6th book free with the same shipping discount. You may also want to purchase 5 of each book, and receive the freebies for each of the groups of 5 books. You decide. ;-)   You’ll receive 1 FREE book for every 5 of the same title purchased.

Got questions? Leave a comment and your question or comment will be answered.

If you have a fiction book club looking at a fun angle towards self-improvement, check out The Flying Game, an inspirational fiction with a Wizard of Oz meets self-help twist. cover flying

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If you belong to (or have an inclination to start) a self-help book club, you’ll find TONS of information in Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation.

blessings2-239x358For bereavement or memoir groups and clubs, Blessings in the Mire: A True Story of Miracles & Recollections is the prime choice.

For larger bulk orders, send an email to sales@NekawaCrone.com and see what specials they’re running. And remember, there is a ‘Special Delivery’ option available on bulk orders! This offer is time limited, so go there now!


http://www.NekawaCrone.com
  A portion of the proceeds from all books and products sold thru Nekawa Crone Publishing Company are donated to worthwhile charitable foundations. Thank you.

Each of these sponsored books contain the same theme, that of self-esteem.  In all cases, the issue of self-esteem is at the core, and also in every case, the issues are put under a microscope. If you’ve ever questioned your confidence, or struggles to make sense of life events, each of these books offers viable solutions. And one other thing, all of these books are written by the same author: Me. I hope you’ll check them out!

And PLEASE SHARE this with your book clubs, and with friends looking to form a book club!

~As always, with love and light and humor.

We Can Make a Difference--Right Here, Right Now

Reblogged from everyday gurus:

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"Peace is not something you wish for, it something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away."--Robert Fulghum

In an effort to actively do something to create more peace in the world in 2013, I am dedicating a number of my posts specifically to peace. I invite you to join me. We can call ourselves "Bloggers for Peace." Everyone is invited to join.

Read more… 507 more words

bloggers for peace. seems like a great concept to me.
By Jan Deelstra

Help Tip Amazon’s Scales and…

We Can Empower the World!

Amazon just ordered Escaping the Chrysalis: Introduction to Gestalt Techniques for Self-Esteem Transformation! That means it’s time to tip the Amazon scales! And here’s the coolest thing ever: Every book purchased through Amazon will add endless positive ripples to the universal pond! (But keep reading, because there’s an opportunity to enter a contest that you’ll want to get in on!)

Escaping the Chrysalis is the empowerment book of the century. It’s LOADED with 416 pages of imperative life enhancing tools! These tools have previously been reserved for the professional, but with Escaping the Chrysalis in your toolbox, you will never again meet a challenge that you cannot conquer.

  • Transform struggles into fuel for success!
  • Reap the messages from your dreams.
  • Enhance relationships, personally and professionally.
  • Let go of internalized blocks to success.
  • Identify passive-aggressive behaviors.
  • “OWN” your wholeness and power.
  • Achieve more than you ever dreamed possible.
  • Be acutely aware and empowered.
  • MORE, MORE, MORE!

Just as the butterfly must go through the process of escaping the chrysalis, so too, do we humans gain strength from our struggles. And that doe NOT mean we need to keep struggling! The answers are here: Escaping the Chrysalis on Amazon.

The book is on sale at Amazon! And of course, you can also pick up your copy of The Flying Game while you’re there and you’ll also save on shipping! It’s a better deal than even I can give you!

Anyway, to sweeten the deal, once you’ve purchased the book or books, come back with your confirmation number and you will be entered into a contest to win a FREE:

Win a Kindle

Kindle Fire

Yep. After you’ve ordered your books through Amazon, come back and fill out this form:

Some lucky reader will win the new Kindle Fire!

GOOD LUCK!

And PLEASE Share This!

Escaping the Chrysalis on Amazon

World Oceans Day: To My Ocean Loving Friend

Reblogged from shamanictracking:

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It may seem like life you know is over.
You do not recognize the landscape you called home.
You feel your home is somewhere else.
Lost in heat of the neverending summer.

You can hear the ocean, waves hitting your shores at night.
You think you should be afraid of their welcoming sound.
But you are not.
You feel your skin burning with the open wounds,

Read more… 170 more words

Happy World Oceans Day.
By Jan Deelstra

What is Happenning in Istanbul?

Reblogged from İnsanlik Hali:

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To my friends who live outside of Turkey:

I am writing to let you know what is going on in Istanbul for the last five days. I personally have to write this because at the time of my writing most of the media sources are shut down by the government and the word of mouth and the internet are the only ways left for us to explain ourselves and call for help and support.

Read more… 1,148 more words

PLEASE READ and SHARE this.
By Jan Deelstra