The Hidden Link Between Childhood Trauma and Financial Struggles: One Client’s Epic Breakthrough Story
(This wasn’t expected to happen…but it did. And it changed everything.)
A couple of months ago, Catherine came to me with a deep ache buried beneath her otherwise polished exterior. She was struggling—with money, with life choices—not in the way that shows on paper, but in the quiet, shame-laced/shame-based space where we silently ask ourselves why it never gets better, no matter how hard we try.
Catherine had done the work. She’d taken courses. Hired the coaches. Diligently shown up. And still, her bank account and her soul seemed caught in a pattern of just enough—just enough to survive, never enough to thrive. I remember her saying that she, “always had enough but never had more than enough.”
It was an undeniable pattern that crept into her relationships, her career, and unquestionably into her consistently low bank balance.
It was especially challenging because Catherine is a proud, capable, intelligent woman. The kind of woman who walks into a room and turns heads. The kind of woman who others assume has it all together. But behind the curated elegance was a lifetime of silent struggle. Her confidence was a mask she wore well. Inside, she felt like an imposter teetering on the edge of surrender. And she was extrememly private. It took some time to build trust and get her to open up fully, but to her credit, she consistently listened and participated in her journey towards the breakthroughs…
While a part of her was hopeful, another part—perhaps the louder part—believed she’d be stuck in the cycle of scarcity forever. The mindset was metaphorically cast in stone, and I knew quickly that it would take some work—some introspection and honesty and guidance to create lasting change.
And then, something extraordinary happened.
After just a few weeks of working together, Catherine had an epic-level breakthrough that left us both in awe. It was one of those sacred moments where coach, client, and clarity connect so viscerally, the air feels different—like the veil between the subconscious and the soul has lifted.
Her eyes met mine. A soft gasp escaped her lips, and she whispered, “I was just a child.”
She had been four years old when plainclothes officers came and took her from the only home she had ever known. Her father had passed, leaving her mother—a young, struggling widow—to do her best. Until that day, Catherine didn’t know anything of personality-stiffling labels such as “poverty” or “single mother” or “child welfare” as is true with the innocence of children. Catherine only knew her mother’s arms. She only knew love.
And then, love was gone. Security was pulled out from under her. Catherine was quickly placed into a stranger’s home in what the well-meaning system called “foster care.”
“I didn’t even cry,” she said. “I was scared…but curious. I just watched, like a little observer. I didn’t understand what was happening. I only knew that my sense of safety stayed behind with my mom.”
That’s when the deeper truth surfaced:
Catherine’s subconscious had equated struggle with safety. Being with her mother—even in poverty—was perceived as security and love. That internalized lesson would affect her life from then on….
Being taken away—even into a ‘better’ financial situation—was terrifying.
And so, for decades, that terrified little girl lived in the nervous system of a grown woman. And as she grew into adulthood, Catherine’s inner wiring had her believing that financial success meant loss. It meant separation. It meant danger. To remain safe, Catherine’s internal wealth thermostat kept her at a “safe” low income level where she felt, if not comfortable, then at least familiar.
That’s how money blocks work.
Money blocks aren’t just about what you earn or spend. They ARE about the ways in which you interact with matters of abundance—whether you hoard or over-spend, or how you always seem to spend exactly what you have right up to the dollar. Maybe you keep credit card debt as a buffer from true success. Or maybe you keep adrenaline doses coming by taking your finances right up to the line of where you can consistently feel the fear of living on the edge.
Money stories impact every area of your life.
Your money stories are the blocks that keep you set at a predictable abundance level. And they’re woven into your earliest definitions of love, safety, and survival.
The Shift:
When she saw the connection—truly felt it—Catherine’s whole body shifted. Her breath expanded. Her shoulders dropped. Her energy softened and simultaneously glowed with newfound power. It was as if the scales fell away, and for the first time, she saw herself through the lens of divine worth.
She looked at me and smiled.
Because she knew: She was no longer that little girl.
She was now a woman with adult eyes, adult consciousness, and the sacred opportunity to reframe the past and reclaim her future.
Since that breakthrough, Catherine’s life has changed in ways that once felt impossible. Money began to flow—not in a torrential flood, but as a predictable growing steady stream. Opportunities appeared like spring flowers along her path. And perhaps most importantly, she no longer fears abundance. She welcomes it. She walks with it. She knows she’s worthy of it. And this self-worth has transformed more than just her money story….
Catherine attributes this shift to the work we did together—to the safe, sacred space where her deepest blocks were seen, honored, and released.
And this is the work I do. This is why I do it.
Helping women shift from lifelong patterns of self-sabotage and scarcity into conscious creation of abundance gives me more joy and purpose than you can imagine.
While I can’t promise this level of transformation will happen in one session for everyone, I do know this:
If you want financial peace, radiant confidence, and lasting self-worth badly enough, it’s only a matter of time—and high-level intuitive guidance—before it becomes your truth.
So let me ask you…
I have space for a few more Breakthrough in a Blink sessions this month.
Breakthrough in a Blink is a 15-minute, intuitive deep-dive to uncover your hidden blocks and illuminate the first step forward.
If you’re interested, → click here ← to book your session now for just $97
Let’s unlock what’s been holding you back…and set you free.
If you’re not quite ready for a coaching session, start with immersing in INFINITE PIE: From Finance to Romance, the Parallel Feminine Frequency of Money & Love (available where books are sold or simply click the linked title to buy it on Amazon.)
A Quick Note:
Previously, I mentioned that Catherine is very private. For this reason, I suggested reading material to her to set the process in motion. Catherine’s journey began with me recommending these three specific, very different books:
INFINITE PIE: From Finance to Romance, the Parallel Feminine Frequency of Money & Love is filled with personal stories about how our inner beliefs take root in childhood. For this reason, I believed that Catherine would benefit from the content.
Escaping the Chrysalis: Transform Struggles into Strengths is a compilation of tools and techniques, as well as personal examples that I use in my coaching over the past 40 years.
Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook is worth its weight in gold bars! It’s the step-by-step instructional manual and exact tools that are taught to all my clients. And since it’s a “workbook” and not a novel, it is super effective in creating change. This workbook is the whole secret sauce to my coaching. It contains all the magic!
So Catherine began with all three suggestions, and then she came back to me for coaching. Her opinion is that she believes it’s best to start with the Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook, and then go on to Escaping the Chrysalis, and then to INFINITE PIE. This surprized me, because I generally suggest starting with Escaping the Chrysalis. It was my first book about self-worth and self-confidence, and has a lot of content, all of which is designed to empower women. That translates to say, that no matter which order you decide to immerse yourself into the works that promise to empower, start somewhere. You can’t get somewhere if you don’t start. So start, and mark your progress from this day forward. You deserve the life you desire.
Got comments or questions? Leave them below!
Clicking on the individual book covers will take you to Amazon, each opening in a new page so you won’t lose your place here.
xo, Jan
Discover more from Jan Deelstra, Int'l Best-Selling Author & Women's Empowerment Coach
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
No responses yet