When Success Isn’t Enough

So…what if “success” isn’t enough? What if you’re considered successful by cultural standards, yet inside, you feel a deeply hidden longing?

Today’s post is about how to find fulfillment—completely. And what to do with the feelings of guilt you have, when you think that you “should” be happier, more content with your current situation, as you see others around the globe who are not as fortunate as you…

And how about we also address those doubts you have about being deserving….

When Success Isn’t Enough: The Hidden Longing of the Empowered Woman

Globally, women are the nurturers, the comforters for others during their time of need. As caregivers, we may drain our own reserves to the point of adrenal burnout. Now add to that caregiving mix, the need to fulfill our own needs to grow and thrive, even to dare to self-actualize. There are only so many hours in every day, and it takes self-awareness to measure out our tasks—whether self-imposed or as part of our professional requirements. It’s no wonder that women—especially rural American women, are dying younger from natural causes and disease.

Think about the word “disease” and now hyphenate it: Dis-Ease.

Now consider how much dis-ease you’re tolerating in your life.

Next, consider ways in which you can remove, or at least lessen the impact of anything that causes you dis-ease (dis-ease that can inevitably lead to potentially deadly diseases). You may not be able to remove all stress/dis-ease from your life. You can however be mindful of how you are responding to that stress. And with awareness, you may also recognize ways in which you are actually the source of creating that dis-ease. You can then work to alleviate the source whenever possible.

Balance of the Whole

As a Gestalt Practitioner, I work with the whole—mind-body-spirit whole of each client. Gestalt means whole, and you were born whole/complete. You were then systematically taught to deny large chunks of who you are. Those pieces of you are still around, waiting to be re-claimed. And when you do re-claim the parts of you that make you whole, you’re a LOT more apt to live a “whole” balanced life. Learning to say “no”, as an example, is something you can do to lessen dis-ease of over-filling your task plate. If it helps, practice saying “no” to your mirror. And then practice saying “yes” to your overall wellness.

When you are living this balanced life, you have less regret, more energy, more tolerance, and more self-acceptance. In short, you are creating a fulfilling life on YOUR terms. That inner feeling of emptiness begins to fill with rewards of living life on your terms—redifining selfishness as self-care.

Success, when we define it for our Self, is the key to filling that hole of emptiness. Unfortunately, most women are taught from an early age to lean to others to fill us up, instead of filling our own needs on our own terms. In fact, most women cannot provide a quick answer to the following question:

What DO You Want?

Can you answer the question of “what do you want?” or do you have to take some time to consider the answer?

Answer it only for yourself. Let yourself imagine that you can have whatever you want. Your decision impacts no one. This is only for you. If you could have anything you want, what do you want?

Notice any thoughts that surface.
Notice physical reactions you get when you consider what you want (Are your palms sweating? How’s your breathing? Do you feel dis-ease when you attempt to answer the simple four-word question?)
Notice the emotional feelings that occur when you give yourself permission to dream of the answer—the possibilities that can be created when you clarify the answer.

Just notice your ‘whole’ self as you consider what do you want? No judging—simply notice….

Some fear may surface; there is fear when we don’t know the future outcome. Fear though, is not a dam. Fear is an emotion that alerts us that something is changing…and when we have a clear target, the fear can become the fuel to propel us quickly to that desired outcome—to the answer to the question: What do you want?

Are you feeling blocked? Stagnant? Stuck? Empty?

The cure for depression, stuckness, stagnation, is physical movement.
The cure for physical exhaustion is mental & emotional stimulation.
Balance is the ideal human condition. Formally, it’s called homeostasis, which means the organism in a balanced state of being.

When you are balanced: mind-body-spirit whole/gestalt, your energy circulates freely, and you’re empowered to accomplish more because your energy is no longer stagnant or stuck.

When you are in homestasis, you are not in dis-ease, thus, you are healthier.

When you are in balance, you mood is enhanced, your whole Self is more in tune, and the flow of energy allows for better manifestations, enhanced relationships, and a feeling of well-being.

This is of course the compact version for this post. With that said, I do want you to recognize that change doesn’t require stress or drama. It really requires self-awareness, above all else.

In a day or two, I will add to this concept. For now, give yourself the gift of introspection: how are you settling for dis-ease in your life? What’s one thing you can stop or start immediately, that will enhance your life, and begin to fill that hole into wholeness?

Comment below. Let me know what you experience.

For more personal guidance and support, check out the ‘work with me’ tab; I offer coaching from 15 minutes to 12 months. There is something for everyone!
xo, j