It’s been said that “death comes in threes” but I don’t know where to start the measurement. My heart is broken, it’s not even three weeks into the new year, and I have no time to grieve the last before the next shocking news of another death comes along…. Of course I talk about it in every course and book, so if you’ve been with me at all, you know that I am aware of how important it is to keep my energy and frequency clear and positive. It’s just that I don’t know what to do when grief comes so quickly, non-stop, stacking one atop the last, it seems.

And no, this isn’t the venue from which I should scream my primal screams, nor is it the right venue for spewing loss and personal feelings –that venue, for a Scorpio, does not exist. It’s just that coming into a new year is like a promise made for better days, a fresh clean slate on which to dream, to plot successes, to organize and commit. Not to mourn. And again. And again….

I’ve only just begun to sweep the settled dust from one, when a new dust storm blows in hard and fast, and wildfires rage in my beloved Southern California, and a felon is about to take a vow he doesn’t intend to keep, and life goes on around me, even as I weep.

And so, I turn in…into the solace of memories of how they laughed and loved and fought and supported me and moved away…. Personalities too big to be quelched. Smiles too huge to ignore despite how invested in being angry or, yes, even heart-broken I may have been.

And still, my heart is broken, bigger even than if they had moved away today. I need a dose of that trademak laughter, a final peek at the massive smile. And now they are so far away, unreachable, and I send so much love to others, to cradle their hearts as mine crumbles into the well of loss –a well with an insatiable appetite for swallowing….

Good-bye my friends.