Today, I’m missing a friend, Louie Miller. Our friendship spans many decades, and I am hurt to acknowledge that he recently passed from a freak accident. You can see the article until it’s taken down:
https://fox5sandiego.com/news/local-news/bicyclist-dies-scooter-accident/

Louie’s death has me thinking about the innumerable conversations Louie and I had over the decades —not all were agreeable, but they were consistently entertaining. We were (It’s had to hear “were” vesus “are” in my thoughts) polar opposites politically. Many of our conversations about human rights clashed with what I consider “wrongs” being legislated by mostly white men. I am, and always have been a proponant for human rights. My teeth were cut on women’s rights, and I owe much of my past “non-traditional” employment to Affirmative Action. (As one of the first female Teamster truck drivers, I was hired ONLY because I was a woman. This meant working twice as hard in a traditional men’s field as my male counterparts to be considered half as good; luckily, this was not difficult….) Affirmative action also helped me to be accepted into college as a “non-traditional” student; I was 30 years old, a single mother of three, and working full time when I entered my Freshman year. Louie, on the other hand, was raised with traditional blue collar family values that included a stay at home mother and a lot of inner turmoil.

So today, I am reminded of a very useful technique that everyone can benefit from at any time that a final conversation may be useful or called for. The technique is The Last Speech and is clearly outlined in the full-color workbook, Escaping the Chrysalis Companion Workbook. But I am going to give you the details right here so you don’t need to invest in the workbook unless you want all the priceless techniques for empowering your life.

I want to start by saying that The Last Speech is not something that you pull out only when someone has died. You can use this tool at anytime to say what you need to say to someone whether living or dead. And it’s a useful technique that I have shared with 99% of my coaching clients because it’s so effective.

So, is there something you want to say to someone? Perhaps you are haunted by a past lover, or by a passed on friend or relative. Maybe you want to say something to create closure from a childhood bullying episode. It could be a past or present employer or co-worker you want to address. Settle in on one individual person, and onto one specific thing that needs to be said, and start there.

Are you clear? Okay then. Let’s do this!

It’s helpful, but not necessary to begin with two chairs facing each other. You sit on one of the chairs, and imagine the individual you are confronting on the second chair. Look at the imagined person on the chair in front of you and begin by saying something nice to that person. Ideas might be, “I love you and I have something to say, and I want you to hear me.” If “I love you” seems wrong, choose another statement that begins the conversation. Use “I” instead of “You” because the minute you start with the “You” the person will stop listening. An example is that if I say, “You have pissed me off because…” a defensive wall automatically shows up. Whereas if I say, “I am feeling [fill in the blank with your authentic emotion] and I need to say this…” the person’s curiosity will want more. Say what you are compelled to say, and then switch chairs and respond AS THAT INDIVIDUAL. Listen closely to the statement that comes in response, and continue to use “I” messages in your communication. Listen and respond, changing chairs at the end of each response. Do this until you have said all you need to say, and have heard all you need to hear to release the energetic charge of the encounter. You’ll know when the conversation is completed. When it is, notice how you are feeling. Have you let go go of some emotional weight?

Feel free to leave a comment or ask a question in the comments area below. I read and respond to each comment, and your comment could help others.

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