To consider that “trauma may contain a life changing blessing” is sure to challenge many readers. I myself was face to face with the concept early in what grew to be my calling to empower women. As part of a gestalt* focused self-awareness women’s empowerment group I was enrolled in, I found myself being instructed to go deep to seek out the blessing in what was then the most “painful experience” of my life. Seriously? This guy (the instructor) doesn’t have a clue about all the trauma I’ve suffered, I thought with righteous indignation. My life’s been hard, I reasoned. And I wasn’t about to entertain this instructor’s guidance to “go within” and relive that crap-no siree bob!

Of course, I did ultimately go within, and I did discover many beautiful gems–gifts that I would have missed had not been for this genius who himself was a gift. His name was Dr. Mack Gift. He became my mentor, my co-worker, and my cherished friend. I owe him more than I could ever repay. Any self-awareness that I now claim as my own, came as a result of meeting, and later working with Mack, and I am forever grateful.

Blessings…

Norman Cousins was told by his doctors that there was nothing left to do. “Go home and get your affairs in order,” he was told. Instead of following “Doctor’s orders,” Norman checked himself into a hotel room where he turned on the television and watched non-stop Charlie Chaplin movies. Norman Cousins effectively laughed himself to wellness. He lived another thrity years without ever seeing another doctor. Laughter it seems, was the “best medicine” for Norman.

Michael Jordan didn’t make the cut for playing for his high school basketball team. According to the coach, Jordan simply wasn’t good enough. The rejection could have devastated young Michael, especially given his passion for the sport. His career could have ended before it even began. But rather than slinking away like a wounded animal dissolving into the belief that he, “wasn’t good enough” to play the game he loved, Michael created a passionate pathway that led him to world reknowned athletic prowess.

A person receives a death sentence from the doctor, and makes an immediate decision to take control of her health. She strips the kitchen of toxic processed food, begins to consciously eat clean and hydrate, drinking over half her weight in ounces of pure purifying water. It helps immensely, and her health turns around. But why wait for a death sentence to up-level your life? How about instead, treating you as the most important job of your life? This is true whether you’ve experienced great trauma or not….

The Subconscious Mind and Core Wounds

How Trauma Programs Our Subconscious Mind

We’re learning more and more about how the subconscious mind forms beliefs based on evidence it collects from life experiences, particularly during formative years. I’ve written about it before –about how your subconscious mind is absorbing before you even leave the womb, and by the time you’re around 7 years old, your beliefs have pretty well set into the concrete of your brain’s soft tissue. This “safe guard” is Nature’s way, but it may be time to take a deep dive into how this safety mechanism can actually harm us.

Core wounds like abandonment, rejection, scarcity, or neglect embed deep-seated beliefs such as, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m unlovable” into our subconsious mind. It doesn’t matter how rational or irrational on a conscious level the belief is; What matters is that Nature, by way of your subconscious mind, has a purpose: Perpetuation of the Species. And that translates to say that Nature wants to keep you safe, for at least long enough for you to grow into a mature adult.

An example of perhaps an “irrational” abandonment issue is a child adopted into a loving home. That child may be pampered and protected and loved and cared for, yet may still feel they were “unwanted” because of the original separation from their biological parents. The biological parent may have committed the most selfless, loving action by relinquishing custody to someone more equipped to care for the child, but the embedded inner belief doesn’t support that logic. Often the result is a lifetime of feeling “unlovable” that leads to creation of situations that reinforce that feeling of being “unlovable.” Anyone who has internalized this limiting belief, will surely struggle in relationships, and throughout life, since the limiting belief impacts every part of life. These beliefs aren’t just mental constructs—they create our reality.

The Impact of Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs That Hold Us Hostage

Let’s look a little deeper, and explore how limiting beliefs shape experiences in various areas of life:

Money: Growing up in a household where “money doesn’t grow on trees” creates a scarcity mindset. Love: Witnessing unstable relationships can form beliefs like, “Love always ends in pain.” Social Class: Being told, “People like us don’t…” perpetuates the “Us vs. Them” mentality.

These limiting beliefs were likely not meant to harm you. Folks talked and you absorbed. No one was consciously programming you for limitations. Yet, regardless of the intention of those who were providing the messages you learned, your perfectly designed mind created a “set point” based on these beliefs
—the self-imposed ceiling that beliefs create in life, love, joy, relationships, and finances.

Recognizing the Limiting Scripts

From ‘I Want’ to ‘I Lack’

Notice that everytime you beat the drum to “I want” it’s often rooted in scarcity:

“I want more money” translates subconsciously into “I don’t have enough.” “I want love” carries undertones of “I’m unworthy of love.”

Simply put: Recognizing these scripts is the first step in rewriting them. You can’t change what you don’t see, so begin to lovingly notice your words, and your thoughts. When you hear yourself coming from a place of scarcity, or victimization, realize that as a fear-based perspective. Is it rational, or is it a childhood wound that needs to be rewritten with an adult perspective? Is it a perspective from recent trauma that hasn’t been explored?

Reprogramming the Mind with New Beliefs

From Scarcity to Abundance: A Path to Freedom

I’m going to share with you, the philosophy of “Infinite Pie” versus “Limited Pie.” Scarcity mentality is the most common lesson that most of learn about money and abundance. This finite belief that there is only so much to go around, and that once it’s gone, it’s gone, creates the internal set point that limits lifetime earnings. The thought that there is a limited supply creates an internalized belief that says pie is limited. And that belief creates the inner thermostat set point that won’t be surpassed until you are conscious that it exists, and take measures to release the limiting belief.

“If someone else gets a slice, there’s less for me” “If I take too much, others will suffer”

Here’s the thing to really embed into that life-saving subconscious mind: There is INFINITE PIE. Any time you hear the message that says otherwise, I want you to affirm, “There’s enough for everyone, including me.” Repeat this affirmation for as long as it takes for you to fully grasp and embed that reality.

Other strategies to challenge and rewrite negative beliefs may be as easy as journaling –write your limiting beliefs down on the page, and dissect them:

Where did you learn it? How does it support you?

Writing down the thoughts you have about anything that isn’t serving you to create your best life possible is empowering. Commit to 30 days of journaling, and it may become a healthy habit. Be sure to return to the pages daily, to read what you have written, because great wisdom is to be found in those clarifying words.

In addition to journaling as a powerful change tool, visualization exercises combined with a daily gratitude practice create a fertile garden for your new beliefs and resultant up-leveled life to take root. You may decide to create a daily practice that includes journaling, visualizing your ‘future you’ and expressing gratitude for all the blessings that you currently enjoy, before even starting your day. It’s also a very powerful way to end every day, expressing gratitude for all that you enjoy. What we focus on expands, so placing your focus on all you already enjoy attracts more for which to be grateful.

And of course, remember that affirmations are a key tool to include in your self-love toolbox. For example, you can develop a habit of stating an affirmation anytime a limiting belief pops up:

Negative Belief: “I don’t deserve happiness.”
Affirmation: “I am inherently worthy of love and joy.”

Negative Beliefs and Countering Affirmations

“I Don’t Buy This Because…”

Addressing Scarcity Thinking

I want you to notice when you’re shopping, do you bargain with your Self? What I mean by “bargaining” is if you hear yourself reciting objections like, “My money is better spent elsewhere.” Objections that have you determining this or that stem from scarcity. Sure, there may be a time when it’s a better investment to buy something that you actually need as opposed to something blatantly frivolous if you’re in a little dry spell, but unless that’s the case, you may want to replace that habitual scarcity thinking with abundant thinking: “Investing in myself creates more opportunities for growth and wealth.”
(Refer back to your daily ‘new beliefs’ practice.)

From Wounds to Wings

Trauma and limiting beliefs don’t define us—they’re opportunities for growth and transformation. Like Norman Cousins and Michael Jordan, we all have the power to rewrite our stories. This website is here to empower women just like you to consciously create life by YOUR design. Everything here is for you. A sad fact is that most people spend more time planning a holiday than they invest in planning and creating their life. I encourage you to take active control, to affirm your worth and your value, to define your beliefs according to your desires. You deserve the life you desire. You are worthy.

Further reading:

*Gestalt means “whole” in the sense that you are a whole individual comprised of your mind, body, and spirit. Gestalt is the core of my teachings.